


Willow

by Rosedapple



Series: Evermore [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), evermore - Taylor Swift (Album)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosedapple/pseuds/Rosedapple
Summary: Caleb and Jester's thoughts during the conversation on darktow, interspersed with lyrics from "Willow" by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Evermore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152239
Kudos: 6





	Willow

“ _I know that my train could take you home/ Everywhere else is hollow/ Beggin’ for you to take my hand/ Wreck my plans”_

Caleb

_“I’m like the water when your ship rolled in at night”_

Was it the wind? What had truly brought them together? Jester had said it was his smell wafting over that got her attention. And then... it almost seemed like the force of her personality called him out- first for his choice to hide under dirt and not take care of himself, then for his choice to be alone, sullen, and self-centered. Molly had done it too. 

_“Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife”_

He really started to notice the sadness when they had to tell Jester that Molly was dead. That may have been why it was so easy for him to see the grief in her eyes that others missed. It was an echo, ever so faintly, of his. He hid behind quiet, he hid behind dirt; she hid behind loud, she hid behind bright. But weren’t all of those things just two sides of the same coin? She was naive, hopeful, like he once was, but she grew jaded differently. While he caved in, she appeared to cave out- her vulnerabilities still in darkness. 

_“And if it was an open-shut case/ I never would’ve known from the look on your face_

_Every bait and switch was a work of art”_

She shared it a bit- when he prodded. And then- _whoosh_ \- it gushed out of her. Fears, worries, hopes, joys. Somehow, he was able to console her without feeling like he was wounding this bright, young, vivacious woman. Sure, he lied a bit, but that was one story it would hurt to tell, to her especially. It wasn’t even really a lie. He just vaguely mentioned things he’d done that she mostly already knew about. And then, out came something he truly could help with- her mother. It may not have been the best childhood, but Marion loved her Little Sapphire- that much was clear- and Jester loved the Ruby just the same. He was working on being able to teleport them, and he knew the rest of the group would also support her with her mother. He couldn’t say he’d go home again- he didn’t have the right- but he could reassure her.

“ _Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”_

She’d been through a lot, for her, and anything he could do to give her strength, he would. They were opposites in a lot of ways, but it did warm him to help someone like this, especially since she was usually the one giving out all the joy. He knew there was more, though.

_“_ You’re sweet on him, _ja?”_

She’d flirted with Fjord, she’d flirted with everyone at first, but this was different. She seemed conflicted on it. And she asked about his... experience. She knew. She knew because one night he was reminded and his lips were too loose. He wasn’t sure if her learning that was a good thing or a bad thing. She’d stopped flirting with him, but that could’ve been chalked up to the capture and Molly’s death. She seemed pleased to know a piece of him he hadn’t shared to many others- he’d barely shared it with Nott. It helped that it was perhaps the most innocuous piece he might accidentally share, but it also gave them both some sadness- he could see it in her eyes- and it was at least partially his fault. He took solace in giving some joy back to here, even if he couldn’t give it back entirely. After all, she’d even started to give him some joy when he thought it impossible, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

_“The more that you say, the less I know/ Wherever you stray I follow_

_Beggin’ for you to take my hand/ Wreck my plans”_

Jester

_“Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”_

Jester had been so lonely for so long, but now... now she had friends! She had crush(es). She danced! With Caleb! It had been such a surprise to hear him mumble about this woman from his past. She’d enjoyed making him uncomfortable, but that was when she realized... he was hurting. Maybe even lovesick.

_“Head on the pillow. I could feel you sneaking in”_

And then... she and Fjord and Yasha got captured, and it was dark, scary, scarier than anything she’d been through before. But she needed to be that light, that joy for everyone else, even as she felt so alone, abandoned even by her god, her best friend. But joy was needed, so joy she would bring, any way that she could. Nott asks her to help write a letter to someone from Caleb’s past? Sure, she’ll help try to give Caleb that connection. Doing a prank on the Platinum Dragon? Rainbow is so pretty! And of course the Traveler will love it, and maybe he’ll like her again. Seeing Mama again- admiring her and the joy she gives with her singing and her insight, and being able to give some joy back to the woman who raised her. Plus, she indirectly helped the water djinns who had been enslaved and separated for so long! Oh how much joy she was spreading!

“ _As if you were a mythical thing/ Like you were a trophy or a champion ring”_

And then- chaos, pirates, Avantika, Ukatoa (ukatoa... ukatoa), and almost drowning... she ended up focusing on the last one. Fjord had kissed her! Or, at least saved her. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about all of it. And now he was spending all his time with... That Woman! And so she went to Nott, and the Traveler, and now Caleb. And... he snuck up on her with how kind he was, how caring, how easy it was to tell him what was bothering her- all of it, not just the Fjord stuff. 

_“And there was one prize I’d cheat to win”_

She was so _grateful_ he was her friend. He managed to see her struggling- _he_ approached _her_ \- and for a moment... she let it all out, dropped her mask of cheerfulness for a moment, and shared her worries for once. And maybe... maybe things weren’t exactly like she had thought. Maybe... she could want something different. And he gave her some joy right back, and she felt more like herself again, not so alone anymore.

_“Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind/ They count me out time and time again/ Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind/ I come back stronger than a 90’s trend”_

After all, she was not the only troubled one, she could tell that. Beyond even the woman from his past. There was something darker- she knew it, even if she didn’t know the details. She tried to weasel it out of him, like Sprinkle in the bath, but it was clear he wasn’t ready yet. And that was okay. She’d show she was trustworthy and that she cared, and hopefully, with enough time, it would be enough. Bring him truly into the present. Give him some joy not marred by the weight of the past.

_“Wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark/ Show me the places where the others gave you scars”_

  
  


_“Every bait-and-switch was a work of art”_


End file.
